Monday, July 27, 2009

Happy 17 weeks! much as I hate Mondays, I do appreciate that each Monday brings me closer to holding my daughter. I know I haven't written in awhile, been a little crazy. So first an update:
Everything is going great! Phew! Egg Basket seems to be feeling better, especially since she stopped having to stick herself with needles. The baby appears to be growing and so far healthy. We had an appointment two weeks ago, just a regular old checkup. We heard her heartbeat again, it was 146 BPMs. I was a bit amazed because 3 weeks before when the doctor looked for it, he had to push down and move all around (I was actually worried that he was hurting Egg Basket), but this week, the doctor just popped the Doppler on and "swoosh swoosh" there it was! Clearly she is growing!
Baby Daddy and I head back up to Connecticut on August 5th for an organ scan of the baby's organs on the 6th. We believe this is the last big test. Although all these tests make me nervous and mildly crazy, I do love getting to visit Egg Basket and her family, and of course, each time a test comes back and says things are fine, I breathe a little more.
The other project I had been working on was inducing lactation..not going so well. I finally got the hematologist to call me back and gave them the list of medications. He said I could take them because none of them are contraindicated, but also said if I take them he wants me to be monitored the whole time because the TTP could come back. He did a series of blood tests (haven't gotten the results yet) and said if anything changed in my blood, I'd have to stop and get treated as if I was symptomatic.
So of course, Baby Daddy immediately noted this was NOT a good idea. Rationally I knew he was right, but it took a little longer emotionally for me to come around. I think the doctors are being cautious, but I also can't take that risk. I want to be here when my daughter gets here...not in the hospital or G-d forbid something worse.
Now I am waiting to hear back from the hematologist about the blood results. If it shows I am healthy, maybe I will just try pumping without any meds, if not, formula here we come. Baby Daddy and I were both bottle fed and we turned out okay (no smart comments!) I know it will be okay, but I'd be lying if I didn't feel angry that my body can't give me this...
Still, on the brighter side of things..only 3 weeks until I can start decorating the nursery! Woot!

Friday, July 3, 2009

PINK PINK PINK...and maybe some PURPLE!

So as most of you know by now, we got the CVS back and our DAUGHTER's chromosomes matched up perfectly! I literally fell off the bed when Egg Basket told us the baby is a girl...I feel so blessed that I haven't stopped smiling for 3, for the record, I would have loved this baby if it were a boy too (and I really, really, believed it would be a boy), after all, I have a boy and I do not believe it is possible to love him more than I do, so another boy would have been wonderful many ways, this makes me feel that our family is complete. We will have a new experience this time around and it is a bonus that my son really, really wanted a sister (never mind that it is because he doesn't want to share his Wii!) This is the first girl in 3 generations for the male side of my husband's family...Can you say Princess?

And perhaps more importantly, she is healthy. Although CVS is not a magic test, it does appear to cover most of the major issues that she could have had. As some of you know Baby Daddy and I were not in agreement as to what we would do if that test did not come back so it is a huge sigh of relief that we do not have to have that conversation...

I also have to issue a MAJOR apology to Egg Basket (and her friend W) for ruining their surprise. Egg Basket knew before I did that the baby was a girl and was planning a special surprise to tell me, however I whined and complained about how anxious I was so much that she felt she had to tell me. So..I am sorry for ruining the surprise..but the truth is, I was pretty surprised when you told me anyway :) And a BIG thank you for holding on to that girl embryo! As Egg Basket has pointed out..she doesn't do anything half way!

The next major endeavor for me is that I am going to try to induce lactation. With some advice from my "angel" and some more luck, I am hoping to breastfeed my daughter when she gets here. I am speaking with a lactation consultant on Monday and hope to figure out a protocol that does not require me to take any estrogen elevating drugs...and then I am likely to start pumping..perhaps this will put to rest that annoying comment of "at least I get to drink" since I will freeze whatever milk I might get (although I do expect that will be awhile).

The minor endeavor will be decorating her nursery..I have never done that before..but I need to *nest* a I am thinking that somewhere around the 20th week I will start to set up her room...There is a Jewish tradition (old wives tale/superstition) that you don't bring anything into the house until the baby is born, but I think that I need to do this. It is therapeutic for me to feel that I am preparing and being part of this process. Plus- I can't wait to buy all the adorable girl stuff I have looked at longingly for the last 6 years! case you aren't smiling yet:

Me: I love you so much my sweet boy.

Sweet boy: Will you still love me when the baby comes?

Me: Of course..Daddy and I will love you always no matter what

Sweet boy: Well will you love me more than her?

Me: No, I will love you the same

Sweet boy: Well I think you should love me more because I was here first and I am older

Me: Well do you think Safta (grandma) loves Uncle J more than Daddy since he is older? or that she loves Daddy more than Uncle D since he is the youngest?

Sweet boy: No..that wouldn't be nice that she would love Uncle D the least..

Me: so it is the same..I will love you the same, but you will always be my best BOY

Sweet boy: Okay...(pause) but I still think you should love me more :)