There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will

This particular blog entry has taken me a few days to sort through in my mind.
As Baby Mama indicated we had hit a bump in the road… temporarily anyway.
I was in an intriguing position that made me a tad uncomfortable.

I agree with Baby Mama… we were never told that there was some sort of higher veto power where the Social Worker could veto the entire process after our meeting.
Our understanding was that it was more a formality and, absent my being a stark raving lunatic, (something that may be debatable by some) things would move forward as planned.

The bizarre way that we found out that the social worker had reservations that our friendship was not rekindled for long enough was certainly not, in my opinion, professional at all.
Baby Mama had many emails and phone calls ignored before the nurse in charge of my meds finally talked to her and told her, in a roundabout way, that there was an ‘issue’. This run around went on for a week.
At that, getting the, whole story seemed akin to pulling teeth!
At any rate, once we were aware of the Social Workers concerns, many things jumped into my brain.

I understand Baby Mama’s feelings of emotional despair and lack of control over her reproductive life. My concerns were more fundamental and pragmatic.

First, someone made my sister cry, uncool.
And second, the Social Worker’s philosophy made no sense…. And I would try and use this, to fix the first issue! HAHA!

So we launched a multi-level attack (of sorts)
Baby Mama would hit her with the emotion issues she discussed, and I would beat her down demanding answers for her, apparently arbitrary, two-month wait proposal.
The next day we had a conference call with the SW. I won’t rehash the semantics of the conversation and I know Baby Mama posted about her end of it. Basically, from my perspective, while the SW’s concerns may be valid under normal circumstances, there were NOT valid for 2 reasons. One reason is, I don’t believe that the SW fully considered the specifics of our relationship in drawing her conclusion and the second reason is, even if her concerns were valid, two months simply wouldn’t make a significant difference in defining the potential longevity of our renewed relationship. Ultimately and in addition to Baby Mama’s points, like the true lawyer that I am, I tore apart her ‘logic’. Then I countered, with my far superior logic HA!

I think that, ultimately, we brow beat her until she gave up. Of course, she never intended to stop the process, so I think it just wasn’t worth the battle to her… Baby Mama and I can make a relentless team and we ended the conversation with SW assuring us that all was a ‘go’.

The next day, I got a call from the nurse regarding the “firmed up” schedule for the transfer. We went over how things would progress and ended the conversation with the promise of an email from the nurse with an outline of what was to come. Seemed like an inoffensive enough conversation, right?

Nah, of course not. Little did I know, somehow, some way, this nurse had told the doctor that the date for the transfer was “unacceptable” to Baby Mama.
This struck me as pretty odd since the nurse has JUST hung up with me confirming the date…
Needless to say the doctor called Baby Mama and he was pretty upset... and got her pretty upset which... pretty much, PISSED ME OFF.

My take on the whole situation is this… in his excitement to get the ball rolling, the doc kind of gave us some unrealistic timetables to get the transfer done. Unfortunately, with the issue with the SW, and the lack of communication… that added to the delay. As in everyday life, people get defensive when they screw up, and I believe that’s how this all evolved.
Problem is, I love Baby Mama and I hate to see people make her upset, particularly if they are doing it to save face. I also know that we need to concentrate on the task at hand, and save our “being pissed off” for a later date.

I know that is tough to do, being in Baby Mama’s position. I know that she is hurting over what has happened.

I guess, to a degree, we all have our own sense of powerlessness… for me, it’s an inability to make this all “right” and “ok” for Baby Mama.

Ultimately, we have sorted through the details and set a date…. Albeit a month later than we had hoped, but a date nonetheless.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, April 20th is our day.