an introduction

Some of you following this journey already know me quite well.
Others of you are learning of me for the first time in the last few days.
The words I offer through this experience will be wise, funny, ridiculous, happy, sad and everything in between.

I am a mother, a wife, a lawyer, a friend, a confidante...
I am liked and disliked, sensitive.... yet matter-of-fact.
I am honest with my opinions however I have a sincere concern for people's feelings.
I am probably the most complex person I know and I often come across, at first blush, as a bitch.
It has assuredly been argued that I AM a bitch.

Whatever word that you choose to describe me, it does not define who I am inside.
I would do anything for a friend or family member in need, if it is, at all, in my power to do so.

I like to think that I raised my Baby Mama friend from the time she was 16 years old.
She watched my 17 year old son come into this world. We are as close as two people can ever be. We are friends, we are sisters. She lived with me for her last 2 years of high school and my house was the place she called home when she came back from college.

When she moved away from Massachusetts, I truly believe that we were both unprepared for life without the other.
I used a minor incident as a tool to cover for my feelings of immense sadness that we would never again be sisters, living together each and every day... I made that a bone of contention...

and we didn't speak.... for eight years.

She went through life changing events without me, as did I, without her.
Often times we lose touch with friends, never to see them again...and for the most part, its ok... its life...... this was not the case for us.

Unbeknown to the other, we each maintained an informational network about the other.
We have a mutual friend who kept us informed of the changes in each others lives... but that just wasn't enough.... details were, somehow, lost in translation, if you will.

It wasn't until the death of a very dear friend of mine, another sister to me, that I finally acknowledged and accepted that I would not be able to continue my life without my friend, my sister.
I realized that I wasn't willing to take the chance of losing the opportunity to say "I'm Sorry, I've missed you... I love you"
And that could happen, that one opportunity to make things right can be snatched from your grasp without warning.... and its too late.

I was not willing to let that happen. So I contacted my Baby Mama friend... I reached out, and to my relief.... she reached back.
I had another friend who I also reconnected with, and I now feel as though I can go forward with my life... completely.

During our time apart, I was aware of Baby Mama's fertility issues. I often wished I was there to help in some way.... not really knowing how... until now.

I have had many people ask me whether the decision to offer my body was a difficult one.
In all reality, it was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made.
While I did give it a great deal of thought... discussed it with my husband, my 5 children.... I simply didn't have any of those nagging feelings of uneasiness that one expects if they are not 100% sure about an important decision.

I will write another blog entry about my experiences when I discussed my decision with my family and my dearest friends.... their support is crucial to me.

Let it suffice for now, to say that the most important people in my life spoken the words that I needed to hear in order for me to move forward on this journey.
And I, now, take you all with me on this fantastic ride to help my sister, my baby Mama friend and her awesome husband, achieve their hearts desires.

She thanks me everyday, for doing this... however it is I, who must thank her... for allowing me to take part in this amazing Journey of Life.