true friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.

As time passes, you will get accustomed to a variety of blog entries from me.
Some of them will be funny, joking and sarcastic…. Some will be intellectual. Every once in a while you will read one that reflects the real me… the friend, the person who loves deeply and cares intensely.

Those of you who have read my “Introduction” know the story of how I reconnected with Baby Mama.

I promised a blog entry about my dearest closest friends and how they reacted to my decision to act as gestational carrier, so without further ado…...

I am not an emotionally deep person for the most part. I am not particularly close to my parents for a variety of reasons, I love them, but we just aren’t very close. While they will know of my decision, it isn’t critical for me that they approve or even understand why I have decided to do this.

I love my children and husband intensely, and their input regarding this process is important to me. When I approached Len (my husband) with the idea that I would offer to be a gestational carrier, as I expected, he told me that it was MY body and that I was free to do with it what I choose. Of course I insisted on a deeper response. The response that cuts to the core of a human being, without regard for hurt feelings, etc. It was THAT response that surprised me. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a very compassionate man…. Much more so than I, and I take great comfort in knowing this, particularly as a person who isn’t free with the outward expression of emotion. It was the intensity of his response that surprised me, the conviction…. He said “I am SO jealous that you are able to do something like this for someone you love.” I knew, then, that this decision was right not just for me, but for my marriage as well.

The kids’ reactions were positive as well. Mike, after an initial “oh crap, you’re serious!” reaction has been very supportive which is surprising to me. He thinks everything I do is a little off-the-hook. HAHA. Brit thinks it’s a great idea. I think after having a baby of her own, it makes her more intrigued by the process. Alex totally doesn’t truly get the whole process…. That may be due to his diminished brain function from his “extra-curricular” activities. And Corie is just looking for assurances that this won’t affect his clothes shopping habit in any way. LOL. Clearly we won’t explain anything to Sofia until there IS something to explain. She really isn’t able to grasp abstract concepts quite yet.

I have several friends with whom I could not move forward easily, without their support. Sherri, Connie, Chrissy, Linda, Wendi, Doreen and Zulie.

Sherri is on this list too because I believe Sherri is looking in on us now, making all of this happen. Kids were Sherri’s passion. She loved Sofia and enjoyed our visits so much. I believe she whispered into my heart and told me to reach out to Baby Mama and do this for her.

Linda is my twin soul. We think alike, we laugh at the same things, we finish each others sentences… I knew that she would be 100% supportive. No questions asked.

Zulie is logical like me, I knew she would know that I gave this the required thought and would be supportive… she can always be a voice of reason in my life with a touch of emotion to keep it real.

Wendi is one of my very best friends, so like me in so many ways. Same sense of humor to cover for the deeply feeling human being that we don’t share very often. But we both know inside that it is there, and we are comfortable with that. I have never felt a closer kinship with a person I have never met. We are like two peas in a pod (except of course she will tell you, I am the wrinkly old pea HAHA) and I can always expect an honest, but caring answer from her. As I expected, when I told her of my idea… she had recently been contemplating the very same thing… she amazes me everyday with what an incredible person she is and her support was crucial to me.

Doreen is our unique friend in that she is friends with both Baby Mama and I. I was not at all worried that she would be unsupportive… but I also didn’t expect her to get all gushy either LOL. And of course she didn’t. I am sure in some ways, she thinks I am nuts for doing this at 42…. She may be right! But I know her well enough that she wants the best for Baby Mama and that she is supportive just the same.

Not that I care ANY less about the above friends, but it was Connie and Chrissy whose reactions were nearest to my heart…. Their disapproval may have even been a deal breaker for me. For a few reasons. I will start with Chrissy.

Chrissy and I are best friends. If women friends can be soul mates, we are them. She is one of two people in this world with whom I never have a serious disagreement. Now understand that we do not always agree, and I know that I can be a bit off the hook, even for her crazy ass. Interestingly, Chrissy has no biological children. She loves other people’s kids (for the most part HAHA) and has an awesome step daughter. Chrissy is also friends with Baby Mama, so I knew that, even if she was a bit hesitant, she would be very supportive. And she was. I know that she loves me and trusts that I will make the best decisions for me. This was probably one of the most important parts for me because I know that I will need her many times over this journey.

Connie and I are a completely unusual friendship. Next to Wendi, I have been friends with her for the shortest time of all of my closest friends… yet I feel closer to her than nearly anyone in the world. Connie and I clicked immediately. She is a very unique lady. She has always been a number of people in my life… even though she is only 15 years older than me; she has been like a mother, a sister, a mentor and a best friend ….. right from the very beginning of our friendship. I can count on her to be straightforward and tell me what she thinks, even if I don’t want to hear it. I know she thinks I am nuts sometimes, and she likes me anyway. What I do not know about her, is why she has no children. I know in my heart that her approval was critical to me, yet I wanted to be sensitive to the fact that I really don’t know why she didn’t have any kids. She always tells me that when they were handing out maternal instincts, she must have been arguing with a judge…. LOL. In reality, she is clearly very maternal and has shown this in the facets of her personality that I have been lucky enough to see. Whatever the reasons, I know that this can be a sensitive subject to many people. I ended up telling her at her office, since she canceled her margarita date with Chrissy and I, LOL. She listened carefully to what I told her and I could tell that she knew I was very serious about it. She was open with me and expressed her concerns for me and my health mostly… which means a great deal to me. Ultimately, I said “So you don’t think I am nuts?” and she said “Oh, no! I think you’re nuts! But I love you and I will support you in your decision”

I knew then, with the support of my dearest friends that everything would be ok.

So Sherri, Connie, Chrissy, Wendi, Linda, Dor and Zulie… thank you for joining us on this incredible journey of life….. I love you.